At a very significant moment in my life and ministry I realised that a pattern had formed over time. Whenever I formally stepped into a new, bigger and more challenging leadership roles, someone in the ‘system’ would use their power and influence to obstruct and minimise this new role and responsibility. Confusion and disarray crept in around my talents and my calling. Each time I stepped up and out, it was like someone stepped on top of me, seeking to crush me and the work of the Holy Spirit.
After realising that this powerful and dangerous pattern had gone for so long unnoticed, I knew I needed to seek help and break this pattern over my life and ministry. If my ministry was to truly flourish as God wanted it to, then this pattern of stepping up and then being pushed down had to be broken.
Over three sessions, two amazing members of The Well team prayed with me. During one of the sessions, Anne said to me, she was getting a picture of a puppet, with strings attached that were being pulled to control me. Anne asked me if I was familiar with this type of puppet. I said I was very familiar with this type of puppet, as I had exactly what she described in a box under my bed! It is almost the only thing under my bed. I was given it as a child, and for most of my life it had lived in my bedroom. We quickly agreed that this puppet was a prophetic picture of what my ministry had become. I was not free to act and serve how God had called me, but rather I was being bound by those in authority over me, seeking to pull the strings and make me act how they intended. The outcome was I could not be who God made me, or serve how God was calling me.
After an incredible prayer ministry session with the team, the strings were cut to signify the strings that sought to control my ministry. The puppet was free, and in that action, in that moment, I too was free from the systems that try and control who God is calling me to be. At the moment of cutting the last string, God said to me loud and clear, that I am HIS plan A, and I am to act in His Confidence, His Clarity and His Calling from now.
I feel free to be who God has made me to be. No more apologising about who I am, and no more believing the voice of control and doubt around me. I’m excited for what He calls me to do next!